Finals week 2013

So very ominous…

My first finals week of grad school is upon me, and yet I feel as though I couldn’t care less.  Perhaps it’s because only two of the three courses I’m taking have a final?  Perhaps it’s because I’m taking “research planning” (not even sure how to describe what that is…grad school 101?) and my advisors course?  Both of which I’m doing well in.  I am not going in blind, by any means.  I’ve studied over the materials…maybe three times.  These are not the most difficult courses offered in the department.  It is so hard to motivated at this point! Fake it till you make it…

In other news, I had a beautifully planned out course work list for the rest of my stay here.  HAD is the key word.  I tried to opt out of taking Advanced Food Processing, since I took a processing course at my undergrad university…but it seems they are trying to push me back into it.  Unfortunately, it is the same time as Waterborne Pathogens, which is what I really WANTED to take…Boo.  Now it seems that I will have to take an 8.30a course instead.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, I will be taking statistics in the summer…an 8.30a course that meets EVERY SINGLE DAY…until June.  Still, that’s no fun.

I am in the process of defining the methods for my masters research.  I will be making a little field trip (literally) to the research fields that the university has on the week after finals.  My husband and I are planning to load up the car and drive back to my home state for christmas break right after that.  Like, the next day.  I can’t wait to go home!  I’ve never attended university so far from home (which has pros and cons).  The pro here is that when we leave for break…we REALLY leave for break.  Can’t wait to disappear!

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The cycle/circle of Frustrations

ARG!
ARG!
Birth, aging, death.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

We are all familiar with the various cycles/circles that we come across through out our day or lives. One cycle I am exceedingly familiar with is that of the cycle/circle of frustrations.  It hasn’t been occurring in me as of late, but my husband. It goes something like this:

I can do it!
Difficulty occurs (be it mental, physical, or social)
I can’t do it!
Encouragement occurs (again, mental, physical, or social)
I can do it!
etc. etc. etc.

With each cycle comes a deeper sense of failure and greater, more diverse encouragement is required.  It is getting to the point where my own encouragement to him is not enough, and he seeks support of his mentors (one of which is one of the difficulties that occurs).

It makes me so sad that he is constantly circling the drain of depression. I wish there was something I can do. As of late, it seems even going back to Turkey would not offer a reprieve.  It seems that, since his Masters was without thesis here, he would be forced to retake his Masters in Turkey, instead of picking up at his PhD. This is a time wasting scenario he refuses (and for good reason!).  We are at yet another crossroads, determining which way he will go in his research.  This is a make or break point, since we are at the point of no return.  I wish I knew what to tell him…
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