As of two days ago I’ve had a nasty battle with vertigo. If you aren’t familiar with that term- it refers to dizziness that is not associated with nausea or passing out. I’m talking about full tilt, world spinning on it’s ear, running into walls dizziness. It first started on Sunday afternoon when getting up from a nap. When I woke up the following day (yesterday) for suhoor I ran into a wall… we were afraid that this vertigo was from fasting and I chose to skip fasting on Monday and make it up along with my -lady time- fasting later. I went to the doctor today and they said I had a viral infection in my inner ear.
I guess the good side is that nothing else feels bad?
The doctor told me not to fast for a few days so that I can fight the virus before it gets worse. Lots of fluids and good eating were my prescription- but I am rather upset. I very much enjoy fasting and feel very in touch with my creator when I do it.
Fortunately the only way that fasting could have caused my dizziness is that my immune system dropped (as does everyone’s) when putting excess stress on your body. Fasting coupled with my Masters’ defense tomorrow was a stress cocktail that resulted in a viral infection…ick!
Fortunately the doctor said that after I have one full day of no dizziness I can return to my fast! YAY!
But I do want to stress that if anyone out there is feeling dizziness during their fast- they should seek medical help. There could be a blood pressure or blood sugar problem that has reared it’s head now that you or fasting…or you could have an infection due to a lowered immune system! Fasting is intended for our goodness and not to make us sick- so don’t be afraid to visit the doctor and take a few days off for your wellness. Surely Allah is the most Beneficent and Merciful indeed… and you can always enjoy reading Quran or listening to tafsir (lessons) to keep your iman and taqwa boosted during this blessed month.
If you were to sign into my wordpress account at this moment, you would find one saved draft of a post from two days ago describing our decision to return to Turkey this coming summer…
And now I am deleting it.
It seems my husband has once and for all decided that we should stay here and work our hardest to complete our respective degrees. I am incredibly proud of him. This decision has been a struggle for over a month, with so many repercussions to consider. On Monday afternoon he sent me a message saying that his decision was to leave. I told my advisor and he explained the procedure to withdraw from the program, and how sure I was this statement was the final decision.
I said “I dont even know…” and its a good thing I didn’t do it.
The following day the hubby expressed his hesitance to give up his chance at obtaining his PhD. Around 1.20p, while I was in class, he texted me saying “Let’s do this”…lets stay. I got back to my advisor that day and I could see his smirking as I walked in his office, as if he knew what I was going to say.
Today we met regarding my masters project. Next semester will be hell. I will be taking two classes, TAing the most labor intensive lab, and driving 1hr north of here to an extension research facility on a weekly basis. And it is all a blessing.
Final projects and exams are coming up…and I better recover from the laziness I have enjoyed whgen I thought my grades wouldn’t matter…!! Hayirlisi olsun!
We are all familiar with the various cycles/circles that we come across through out our day or lives. One cycle I am exceedingly familiar with is that of the cycle/circle of frustrations. It hasn’t been occurring in me as of late, but my husband. It goes something like this:
I can do it!
Difficulty occurs (be it mental, physical, or social)
I can’t do it!
Encouragement occurs (again, mental, physical, or social)
I can do it!
etc. etc. etc.
With each cycle comes a deeper sense of failure and greater, more diverse encouragement is required. It is getting to the point where my own encouragement to him is not enough, and he seeks support of his mentors (one of which is one of the difficulties that occurs).
It makes me so sad that he is constantly circling the drain of depression. I wish there was something I can do. As of late, it seems even going back to Turkey would not offer a reprieve. It seems that, since his Masters was without thesis here, he would be forced to retake his Masters in Turkey, instead of picking up at his PhD. This is a time wasting scenario he refuses (and for good reason!). We are at yet another crossroads, determining which way he will go in his research. This is a make or break point, since we are at the point of no return. I wish I knew what to tell him…